Yesterday night I dreamt of snakes crawling near me.

And then there were more.

I think I really should cut out the negative influences in my life.

I found this ending to a short story I wrote a while ago (well, not that long) -- I think it's kinda funny.

As I slowly opened my eyes, I heard an ice-cold voice, “About time.” It was Mrs. Romero. “Please…” I cried, unable to feel my limbs. I feared for my life. “So, let’s get to work,” Mrs. Romero said while staring into my eyes, “Tell me a little bit about yourself…”

I don't know if it's just me, but every time I write something, I feel so self-conscious about sharing it with other people. I know the story or the essays are not bad, and I know that I have the skills to write compelling stuff, but sometimes I have a hard time defining what's good for my standards, and I have an even harder time defining what's good in the heads of other people. I think this may have hurt my creative process a little bit.

So, I realized that at Reserve, many people just do not care. I think I can feel comfortable writing whatever I want now, so enjoy this:

rndadom assorrtement offf lettersrrs taht kdina maean someathing
beucase yoer brairn cleimas iit doeas
LAnaguea iiss a litlte biit carszy enad I lovea iit

State of mind of an average teenager.
Hour 1 of losing my AirPods.
Going insane right now. Where the actually did I put my AirPods. The farther I leave campus, the more concerned I become. I’m using my sad budget.

Hour 5 of losing my AirPods
I have never felt so lonely in my life.

Being and Becoming

The difference between being and becoming lies in change, but humans have a knack, or evolutionary “advantage” to adapt to change. That means our fundamental nature intrinsically trivializes change, or at least attempt to by gaslighting us until we fail, give up, not in the sense of giving up on life but rather giving up on living.

The next question arises in what it means to give up on life versus what it means to give up on living. As much I want to say that there is no difference, there probably is.